Monday, December 3, 2012

Distance

The sun is filling up the room
And I can hear you dreaming
Do you feel the way I do right now?
I wish we would just give up
Cause the best part is falling
Call it anything but love

And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" when you're not listening
How long can we keep this up, up, up?

And please don't stand so close to me
I'm having trouble breathing
I'm afraid of what you'll see right now
I give you everything I am
All my broken heart beats
Until I know you understand

And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" when you're not listening
How long can we keep this up, up, up?

And I keep waiting
For you to take me
You keep waiting
To save what we have

So I'll make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" when you're not listening
How long can we keep this up, up, up?

Make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" when you're not listening
How long til we call this love, love, love?
 
 
- Christina Perri ft Jason Mraz -  
 
 
*Is it another coincidence?

Good Girl

I'm tired to be a good girl..
And have nothing at all..

*uppss i forgot with all those blessing..
no..no..no.. those all different..

Friday, November 30, 2012

Gorgeous

Gorgeous sunshine..
1..2..3..4..5.. seconds only..
And your shine made me warm..

It's a last day of November.. and I'm ready to begin the new day of December..
:))


Monday, November 26, 2012

#%$#$

Avoiding..
Runaway..
At least I've tried to start our conversation..
But maybe for you, silence is better than sharing..
I realized that I'm the one who took the decision, to leave you..
I thought I'm still belong there..
But the truth is not the same..
We are like stranger.. Don't know how to start the conversation..
You've build the wall, I've tried to break it down and you keep build those..

And maybe my leaving will made you better..


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Jangan ada

Aku terdiam.. di saat kau berucap..
Kamu terdiam.. di saat aku berucap..
Tak ada raut kelabu yang terbaca dalam rupamu..
Tapi mungkin kamu melihatnya dalam rupaku..
Ada kelegaanku saat tuturan katamu terucap.. pun jua kesedihan..
Semudah itu kamu melepasku..
Semudah itu kamu merelakanku..
Mungkin aku yang tak siap untuk pergi..
Jangan ada air mata di belakangku..
Jangan ada kesedihan dalam kealpaanku nanti..

Friday, November 2, 2012

Ruang kosong

Ini bukan dendam..
Bukan juga amarah..
Hanya sebuah kekecewaan yang terakumulasi..
Bila saatnya aku yang memilih pergi, tolong relakan aku..
Jangan menghambatku dengan kata-kata manismu..
Bila aku menemukan kebahagiaan di tempat lain, jangan pula kau menangisi kekosonganmu..
Relakan aku.. Seperti aku merelakanmu dengan dirinya dan dirimu sendiri..
Kita cukup dewasa untuk memilih jalannya sendiri..

Aku pergi sayangku..
Memilih jalanku sendiri..
Dalam ruang kosong yang telah kupilih..
Tempatku berbagi dengan hampanya relung terdalam..
Sayangku..
Darah kita tetap sama..dalam akar yang tak terpisahkan..

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

diam

Diam..
Sunyi..
Tak bergerak..
Mati..

segenap hasrat telah terpendam.. mencari kedamaiannya sendiri..
bergelut menggapai asa yang tertinggal..
tak lagi bermimpi.. hanya berjalan menyusuri relung-relung yang tersisa..
tenggelam dalam kepadatan hari dan tetap mencari setetes kebahagiaan yang lain..

jangan kau pedulikan lagi..
ia hanya seonggok raga yang berjuang untuk hidupnya hari ini..

Friday, October 19, 2012

Miss your existence

I miss your existence..
Maybe if you are still here..everything is not the same..
Do I need to go?
Do I need to leave all the memories here?
Could you ease all my worries?
It's about a soul that still 'overshocked'
It's about a hectic day..
It's about the unspoken feeling..

Oh Gosh.. I need to find another homy sanctuary before March or April..
At least this body will not be exhausted.. even the soul still remain the same..

Hi mom who is in heaven..
I miss you a lot!!!!


If my heart was a home

You're the sky that I fell through
And I remember the view
Whenever I'm holding you
The sun hung from a string
Looking down on the world as it warms over everything
Chills run down my spine
As our fingers entwine
And your sighs harmonize with mine
Unmistakably
I can still feel your heart beat fast when you dance with me
We got older and I should've known (Do you feel alive?)
That I'd feel colder when I walk alone (Oh, but you'll survive)
So I may as well ditch my dismay
Bombs away, bombs away
Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you when you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home

It makes me smile because you said it best
I would clearly feel blessed if the sun rose up from the west
Flower balm perfume, all my clothes smell like you
Cause your favorite shade is navy blue
I walk slowly when I'm on my own (Do you feel alive?)
Yeah, but frankly I still feel alone (Oh, but you'll survive)
So I may as well ditch my dismay
Bombs away, bombs away

Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you when you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home

If my heart was a house you'd be home

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Unconditionally

These will never leave..
These will stay the same..
No matter what'll happen next..
I still keep these.. deep down..

Even I can't give you the rainbow, but at least I won't give u the tears..
Even I can't make you laugh, but at least I can make u smile..
I can't promise to made up your days..but at least I can shine for u.
and I'm always on your back.. anytime..anywhere..unconditional..that's my promises :)

Cos I love you unconditionally..

Monday, October 15, 2012

Am I stupid?

Again..
They called me stupid!!
They called me naive!!
They told me that time is running out!!
Time is never be our friend!!
Oooh.. I forgot those!!
Then, if you remind me, should I be so much worried?
I don't even give a damn!!

I've drown..
But I'm not attached!
They are trying to attache.. but I'm not!!
I'm free as a bird..




Hati

Karena hati memiliki otaknya sendiri...
Jika ia harus berjalan sesuai dengan keinginan sang otak, maka untuk kesekian ratus kalinya, hati akan memerah... mengeluarkan lukanya sendiri..

Ingin!!!

Ingin rasanya memecahkan isi kepalamu dengan botol ini!
Agar aku tahu apa isinya!!
Agar aku tak lagi bertanya-tanya!!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Can we?

Can we talk?
Can you smile for me?
Can u?

Did you miss our story?
Did you miss me?
I've tried so many times.. 
And those were still nothing..

What do you want from me?
Speak up your mind, and it will be granted!!


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Am I belong here?

People said you can share all on your mind "here"..
It is said that "here" is the coziest place in the world..
It is said that I'm belong "here"..
It's been almost 30 years..
And for the first time...
I'm not belong "here"..

I miss the story telling..
I miss the sharing..
I miss those smile..
I miss those laugh..
Actually, I miss the old you..
I realized that everything is not the same..
You left me, even you are still "here"..

I took so many excuse to go..
Just for not seeing your face..
Avoiding the awkward moments..
Avoiding the silence..
Avoiding any disputation..

I wish I have another place to be my comfort zone..
I wish I can stay there any longer..
I wish I don't need another cold beers to make me fall asleep..
I wish I can let those go out easily..

Still another 5 months to go..

I'm not belong "here"!!!



Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Never give up

I was in the middle of "something" last time.. then out of nowhere I found this picture..
Oooh.. okay.. what it is about? Did you try to tell me something, universe?
Did universe still working on us? It seems, yes.. I can feel it.


Honey and The Bee

Don't remind me that some days I'm the windshieldAnd other days I'm just a lucky bugAs cold iron rails leave old mossy trailsThrough the countryside

The crow and the bean fieldAre my best friends, but boy I need a hug'Cause my heart stops without youThere's something about you that makes me feel alive

If the green left the grass on the other sideI would make like a tree and leaveBut if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?Who knew the other side could be so green?

Don't remind me, I'm a chickadee in love with the skyBut that's clearly not a lot to crow about'Cause when the stars silhouette meI'm scared they'll forget me and flicker out

I taste honey but I haven't seen the hiveYeah, I didn't look, I didn't even tryBut still my heart stops without you'Cause there's something about you that makes me feel alive

If the green left the grass on the other sideI would make like a tree and leaveBut if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?Who knew the other side could be so green?

We are honey and the bee

Backyard of butterflies surrounded meAnd I fell in love with you, like bees to honeySo let's up and leave the weeping to the willow treeAnd pour our tears in the sea

I swear there's a lot of vegetables out there that crop up for airAnd yet I never thought we were two peas in a pod'Til you suddenly bloomed, I knewThat I'd always love you, oh, I'll always love you too

If the green left the grass on the other sideI would make like a tree and leaveBut if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?Who knew the other side could be so green?

If the green left the grass on the other sideI would make like a tree and leaveBut if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?Who knew the other side could be so green?

And if I reached for your hand for the rest of my life(Who knew the other side could be so green?)

Lagi keracunan lagu ini *OWL CITY :))


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Won't

I won't stop.. Unless I get my life back..
It's not pretending.. Even some of them, yes..
I dig my own graveyard, for make me realize that I won't fall down..
For heaven sake..I'll be allrite.. At least for my own behaviour..
No one will notice..
Let's drown on my own..

Hey my right hand, I take u one tonite (again).. Accompany me on the dream of tuesday..

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The things

These are the things that I want most today and tomorrow :
  1. I just want to sleep without any help of those cold beers
  2. Gain another weight or at least dont lost another kilos
May I take all those back?

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Jiwa - Raga

Tubuhnya menolak..
Raganya bergejolak..
Walaupun ia belum jua lanjut usia..
Entah berapa banyak yang ia hisap..
Tak terhitung yang ia cerna..
Tetapi itupun tak membuatnya jera..
Ia masih saja memenuhi hasratnya..
Walaupun ia sadar pada akhirnya nanti semua akan menggerogotinya perlahan..

Raganya masih utuh..
Tak jua tercela..
Tapi ia tahu, bahwa tubuhnya telah lelah..
Selelah pikiran-pikirannya yang membuatnya kerap tak tertidur..

Ia sadar, bahwa ia harus berhenti pada titik nadir ini..
Tapi iapun masih tak berdaya..
Tak berkuasa atas dirinya lagi..
Ia kehilangan kontrol..
Ia kerap lepas kendali..

Dia, dirinya.. Membeku untuk sesaat..
Tak berdaya..

Monday, October 1, 2012

Aku

Aku tergoda..
Aku terpesona..
Aku terbius..
Aku sungguh tak dapat beranjak darimu..
Hijaumu menggoyahkan pijakanku..
Sekecap dahaga..
Sejenak sukacita..


*tarik aku..
Terlarut terlalu dalam..
Tak dpt menampikkanmu lagi malam ini..
I take u 1 tonite..

Run

RUN - Leona Lewis
 
 
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear
 
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
 
 
 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

pekat

gelap..pekat..layaknya malam tak berbintang..
segelap hatimu.. sepekat bir hitam yang tersaji di meja ini..
kamu atau aku yang sedang tenggelam dalam gelapnya hati?
kamu dan aku sedang terluka.. perihmu..aku tahu itu..
perihku?? kamu tak pernah tahu..dan mungkin tak jua ingin kau tahu..
gelapnya hatiku tak jua dapat dibandingkan dengan hatimu..
dalamnya rasamu juga tak dapat dibandingkan dengan dalamnya rasaku..
aku tahu, kamu butuh waktu untuk bangkit.. untuk melupakannya dalam keseharianmu..
begitu pula diriku..

dan setidaknya banyak hal yang membedakan diriku dan dirimu..
kegelapanku masih dalam terang.. kegelapanku tak semakin pekat..
walau kita tergopoh untuk bangkit.. tapi kita tetap mencoba untuk bangkit..
waktu yang diperlukanpun rasanya tak kan sama..

aku adalah aku.. dan kamu adalah kamu..
tak dapat tersamakan.. tak dapat terdeskripsikan dengan ribuan kata-kata..
kamu mencintai dirinya.. dan mungkin masih mencintainya dengan caramu..
begitupun aku.. aku masih mencintai dirinya dan dengan caraku sendiri..
tak berjarak.. 

aku melanjutkan hidupku.. dan kamu pun jua..
tapi tak kuubah jua caraku memandang hidup ini.. 
aku tak berkubang dalam kegalauan gelap yang masih jua kau hadapi entah beberapa tahun telah terlewati..
aku tak memaki dalam semestaku..
aku tak jua bersikap negatif dalam keseharianku..
itulah yang membedakan kita kawan..

bangkit... berdirilah.. berlarilah.. kejar masa depan mu.. kejar wanita yang kau impikan, bukan dengan membuatnya lari menjauh karena sikap antipatimu..


*tulisan ini untuk kamu, salah seorang sobatku yang masih jua dalam 'galau gelap'nya :))

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Habit

Hanya kamu dan aku.. Yang tersisa malam ini dan malam-malam sebelumnya..
Hanya kamu yang setia menemaniku dalam kegelapan malam..
Hanya kamu yang sanggup membuatku terlelap..
Hanya kamu sobat setiaku..
Hanya kamu yang sanggup membuatku tak bermimpi dalam lelapku..
Dan kamu canduku..

Bila malam tak berbintang..
Bila malam tak bercahaya karena rembulan bersembunyi..
Lagi-lagi kamu yang ada disampingku..

Berapa banyak rupiah yang harus tersita karenamu?
Tak jua kuhitung..

Kamu..kamu..dan kamu..
I need u (at least) tonite..
I want u badly in your cold..


*someone has just told me to stop this kind of habit :) oohh Gosh, I'm addicted with u..
I wish I can stop this..

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Sepenggal

apa yang kau ingin? apa lagi yang ingin kau raih?
cerita apa lagi yang ingin kau buat?
cerita kita telah usai di masa lalu.. 
sebelas tahun lewat.. tak tersisa.. tak terekam jua dalam salah satu kenangan-kenangan indahku.. 
bagiku, saat itu adalah saat itu.. tahun telah berganti, musim telah berubah dan selalu terulang, tapi cerita kita telah mati disaat itu, disaat kau meninggalkan diriku untuk memilih bersamanya..
tak kusisakan sedikit pun ruang di hatiku untuk mu.. 
dan bila saat ini kau kembali, memberiku janji, memberiku mimpi, memberiku harapan.. kuanggap itu semu..

aku.. telah berubah, kawan..
kau tak lagi menemukan diriku yang mudah terbuai sejuta mimpiku.
bagiku, kau tetap sama.. asing untuk duniaku..

apa yang kau bagi hari ini, kemarin atau esok hanya sekedar cerita pahit hidupmu yang ingin kau bagi kepadaku.. 
tanpa rasa, tanpa iba, tanpa empati ataupun simpati.. 

pesonamu kini tak mampu menggetarkanku..


Sunday, September 16, 2012

Sunday

A cold beer on my left and cigarette on my right..
Put the earphone on, enjoying the music..
Till I fall asleep..
Avoiding today's nap..and hoping I can fall asleep early..
It didn't work.. *sigh


**
Sunday morning..
A conversation began between u and me..
U asked his name..
U gave a lot of questions about him..
I told u the truth..
And u convinced me to go through that way..
U stated that u'll let me go..
I told u that I'll stay.. But u asked me to go..
If those will be the right thing for me and my future and for my right, u let me go..
I can't, and I won't..
At least till today I won't change my mind..

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Ceritakan

ceritakan padaku duniamu..
ceritakan padaku isakmu..
ceritakan padaku laraku..
ceritakan padaku kisahmu..

tentang rasa yang terpendam..
tentang gejolak yang kerap menggeliat..
tentang air mata yang kadang tak terbendung..
tentang mimpi yang selalu hadir dikala terlelap..
tentang sebuah nama yang selalu terngiang..
dalam ketidaksadaran bahwa semesta selalu mengingatkanmu padanya..
tentang sesak yang hadir..
sejauh apa kau berlari, bayangnya tetap hadir..

Kau tertawa, aku tertawa..
Kau bersedih dan akupun bersedih..
Apa yang kau rasa, dan akupun merasakannya..
Getir itu masih kau kecap..

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

It's about

it's about the night.. with the moon and stars..
it's about the blue sky.. with the sunshine..
it's about happiness.. with the laugh..
it's about the sadness.. with the tears..
it's about the emptiness.. with a fake crowd..
it's about the cold beers.. with a pack of cigarette..
it's about the music.. with the rhythm..
it's about the money.. with a small room yet..
it's about a new life.. with the baby inside..
it's about a journey..with the distant..
it's about the cookies.. with marju inside..
it's about work.. with the hectic..
it's about a new place.. with the new challenges..
it's about a sister.. with her stories..
it's about a father.. with its discreetness..
it's about friends.. with their own life..
it's about the future.. with its own mystery..
it's about a mom.. with its pride..
it's about a man.. with his pain..
it's about the heart beat.. with the feeling..
it's about the faith.. with their belief..
it's about the memories.. with the happiest moments..
it's about the relationship.. with the loyalty..
it's about the health.. with the weight..
it's about the messages.. with some of hypocrisy..

PRT

ketika dirinya menampikkanku..gerutukupun tak dapat terbendung..tapi ketika hari esok tiba..kekecewaanku padanya pun hilang..
aku tak dapat menyimpan amarah itu padamu, kawan..yang kubisa saat ini hanyalah menjagamu..ya menjagamu agar tetap berada pada tempatmu yang indah..


Monday, August 27, 2012

Obat Patah Hati?

Obat patah hati itu adalah dengan jatuh cinta lagi..
Tapi..menurut loe apakah itu lumrah?
Bukan hanya sekedar pelarian?
Lari dari kenyataan kalau hati loe sakit?

Hmmm...
gw pribadi lebih setuju dengan quote ini ;
"HATI PATAH KAKI MELANGKAH"
*sebenernya ini judul buku yang baru gw tahu dari salah satu teman baru gw*

Menurut gw, ini lebih masuk akal..
Ga akan ada pihak-pihak yang tersakiti.. Even mantan loe, cowo/cewe baru loe, diri loe sendiri, atau teman-teman loe..
Ketemu teman baru, dunia baru, situasi baru..
Mencoba hal-hal yang belum pernah loe lakuin sebelumnya..

Kalo gw pribadi, so far ada 2 hal yang bisa bikin gw lupa dari sakit :
1. Laut.. ga tau kenapa gw cinta banget sama laut, deburan ombak, nyebur, liat karang, ikan, even itu bikin gw tambah item.. :) dan ternyata gw nemuin kalo edelweis itu ga cuma hidup di gunung, di dalam laut pun ada edelweis.. (ini gw maksa! tapi emang beneran bentuk tanaman di dalam laut kemaren ituh mirip banget sama edelweis)
2. Lapo.. nikmatnya panggang pake sambal ijo itu mantab.. yang penting makan dulu ajah, kalo untuk urusan keluar lagi entah dari atas atau bawah gara2 loe mencri-mencri, itu lain persoalan :p

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Running

Running..running..
I keep running..
To a place that I never knew..
To a place that I thought I can disappear..
Runaway from u..
Runaway from the memory..
But u keep haunting me..
I see u in every place I go..
No matter how far is it..

I've killed the distant..
I've killed the fear..
I speed up the RPM..
Focusing with the road..
Oh dear.. I see u everywhere..

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Dan kita

dan kita bicara..
tanpa emosi..
tak jua saling menekan..
tak mencari pembenarannya masing-masing..
tak ada kata makian..
semua teralun dalam harmoninya..
kau memberikan sebuah gambaran dunia baru untukku..
yang mana memang sudah tergambar jelas untukku kelak..
dan bahkan kau memberiku peluang-peluang yang tak pernah kubayangkan sebelumnya..
engkau dengan kebesaran hatimu memberi ruang tanpa batas untukku, walaupun aku tahu ruang itu menyesakkan hatimu..
kebijaksanaanmu hari ini memberi secercah asa terhadap hari esok..

hari ini bukanlah sebuah kebetulan..
percakapan itu tak juga kita rencanakan sebelumnya..
semua mengalir terucap dari hati dan pikiran kita..
bila ini salah satu bagian jalanNya, bersyukurlah aku, karena memilikimu..

-percakapan seorang laki2 paruh baya dengan gadisnya yang beranjak dewasa-

HIS plan

"There's a time and place for everything, for everyone. God works in a mysterious way." We won't know what is HIS plan, but one thing we have to believe HE always give us the best way eventhough it will hurt us..

Wish


"Kuharap kau tak pernah beranjak, karena benang-benang jalinan yang perlahan kita rajut tak ingin kehilangan pola perjuangannya meski baru titik-titik ini yang mampu kususun untuk melukis warna kita di kanvas peradaban semesta"


No matter how

Even eyes are closed.. 
Ears are deaf..
And still have no light on this dark air..
I keep watching you.. no matter how.. Someone, Something keep telling me..

Do you

I see no moonlight tonite neither the starlight..
Even the winds stop their blowing..

I only see the fireworks coloring the dark sky above..

And I still can hear my whispered.. calling your name..

-do u missed me-

Saturday, August 18, 2012

I don't Love You

I want to sing "I don't Love You"
and say it loud!!!
I don't Love You!!!

But it fake... 
Everything is still goes to you.. to us..
The universe still work.. (unconsciously)
Hell yeah..

Sepenggal

Kita bicara..
Saling bertatapan... dengan sebatang rokok di tangan kita masing-masing..
Tentang rasa..
Tentang dunia..
Tentang masa depan..
Tentang aku..
Tentang kamu..
Hidupku... Hidupmu..
Kita tak berdebat perihal kepergianku kelak..
Walaupun raut wajahmu menyiratkan keberatan hatimu merelakanku pergi..
Menatapmu, menimbulkan gejolaknya sendiri.. Jantung ini bergemuruh..
Ingin kuceritakan duniaku kepadamu tanpa setitikpun terlewatkan..
Tapi bibir ini tetap bungkam..
Aku hanya memberi sebuah gambaran.. sepenggal cerita hidupku..
Dan itu cukup.. melegakan hati yang masih bergejolak tak menentu..





Sunday, August 12, 2012

Rindu

Rindu itu abstrak..

Tak bisa terucap..
Tak bisa terungkap..
Tak bisa terbaca..
Tak bisa diraba..

Dan aku tau, rindu itu...

- Kamu -

Called me

They called me crazy...
They called me weirdo..
They called me insane..
And you must be called me the same like they does..
And you said it just a feeling that can be vanished someday..

And if I say "I don't want neither I can't"
Maybe the last thing you'll do is leave me hangin' there by myself..
And there will be only me, myself and I...

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Conversation

A : I was asking You..

G : And I gave you, right?

A : Yeah, and I was grateful..

G : Then, now what is on your cheek?

A : Tears..

G : Why?

A : I lost him!

G : Don’t you understand, once I gave you, it’ll be yours forever, unless I change my mind and take it back..

A : I don’t understand.. He’s gone..

G : He’s gone? Just look into your heart now.. listen.. feel it.. He still there, rite? He won’t go if you keep it..

      Every time you talk to me, you talk to him…

      Every time you call me, you call his name..

      Every time you breathe, you have his on your breath..

      Every time your heart beat so fast, you are both closed..

      And it is called Love..

Untold

- You may not see it or understand it now, but everything in your life is unfolding as it should -

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Wondering

Wondering...
Do you feel the same...
Does your heart sometimes beat so fast but you dont understand why?
You stay in a crowd but you can't enjoy the rhythm..
You can't scream as your heart does..
Pressures on your shoulder and does your heart..

Memories are on your sight.. Still trying hard to deny for its existence..
Those are squeeze your heart..
Do we both runaway from the reality?
Denying our own feeling and still looking for our own defense.

Do you think that it's only a matter of time? Time will heal us?
Let's see.. Let's wait... How long it'll take us to our own falsity..

Sunday, August 5, 2012

"I Won't Give Up"




When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up


yes, I won't give up...

Someday - August Rush

Another way out..
Just make a distant between me and my expectation..
I know those gonna be real someday..
But let me through these shit first..
No body said it will be easy..
And I'll put all my thought left behind..
Won't follow them.. I'll follow the light who made the dark shadow in front of me..
I see the shadow, the pain is still exist..
But I'll forget the shadow, leave the pain on it..
I won't do anything to make those pain revealed..
I'll put my memories lock, still trying to make it stay on it shelf.. I should not be bothered by the memories and my worried about the futures.
One thing that I still believe that God still on His plan, and its only one way that I've got through these.

I'm sick to made myself sick!
Nobody will understand, and everyone will say that I'm so much crazy..
And you'll say it same..
I just can't made myself higher than before..
I just made myself live.. To live another day without you..

There will be a rainbow someday..


Someday - August Rush - John Legend




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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Dear #kamu

Dear #kamu..
Thank you for everything..
Thank you for the love that we felt before..
Thank you for all the happiest moment in my life..
You brightened my days.. and you kept shining for me..
You gave me an extraordinary streght..
You gave me a comfort place to share all my stories, and ease all my doubtness..
You make me believing that love doesn't recognize any differencies..
You the one that make me to love you unconditionally...


and I'm so sorry for my less acceptance.. I should not to ruin all those things just because of my ego.. Like an earth having its own two sides, daylight and night.. Like a coin have two sides.. So we are..


Dear #kamu..
I still have your voice record on my mind and off course on my phonecell..
I still can hear you sing that song for me.. so everytime I miss you, just switch the button on..
And I still have you on my heart.. Let time heal us.. We'll be fine..
We never know what the future bring us..
We don't know what universe will do for us.. ;)
Like we believing before, that all the things happened to us were not coincidence..
Someone, Something has made those. If we are meant each other, the universe will work for us.
I hope you are doing fine there, with all the load, you can carry those. And I believe you can pass it through well.
We'll be separated by a thousand milles and it won't make any difference at all.
I know you still keep me on your heart like I always do.


Like you said before, we can still be a best friend. I still can count on you, and off course you do.


I believe you keep watching me from your place, like I always do.
Take care biiboo.. You always be my biiboo..no one else..


*2nd day after the hurricane

Monday, July 30, 2012

Love You Lately

Beberapa minggu yang lalu, gw terngiang lagu ini..
And tiba-tiba dapet kiriman voice note dari #kamu...

Dan hari ini gw tersadar...
DAMIT... lagu ini pas bener ternyata.. (hei... aku yang pantes nyanyiin ini buat kamu looohh)

Love you Lately - Daniel Powter

You packed your last two bags
A taxi's 'round the bend You used to laugh out loud
But you can't remember when
You lost your lies

It's like your moving out of time
And the whole word crumbles
Right beneath you
So, I might've made a few mistakes

But that was back when you would smile
And we would go everywhere
But we ain't been there for awhile
And this I knowThere's a place that we can go

A place where I can Finally let you know
'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately

You and me, we got this great thing
We're the only one's that around
We're the only one's that around this Babylon
I hope you find Whatever you've been lookin' for

But just remember where you're from And who you are
'Cause there's a thousand lights

That'll make you feel brand new
But if you ever lose your way
I'll be right here for you
'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately

You and me, we got this great thing
So come back and you sit down

Relax, everything's to see
That you've come a long, long way
And it's the place that you should be
'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately

You and me, we got this great thing
'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately

You and me, we got this great thing
And we're the only one's that around
We're the only one's that around this Babylon

End

Hei Kamu...
It's about another un-happy ending story (again)...
Terlalu mudah... Terlalu cepat... Terlalu berbahagia.. Terlalu menyakitkan..

Aku akan membiarkannya berserakan..
Ia telah hancur.. menjadi kepingan-kepingan kecil..

I've just found you, but you take it back from me..

Aku... Aku...
aku hanya ingin berada dalam sudut temaram itu..
Tanpa kata, kosong, tanpa asa, tanpa air mata..
Terlelap tuk sejenak, hingga Engkau mengambilku nanti..

07/05/12 - 29/07/12

Sunday, July 29, 2012

-ego-

I just can't run...when there is no place to hide anymore..
Or I can't run, just because I don't want to?


I still get my both legs.. but they refuse to walk away as my mind does.
Maybe,,, it's because I have put my life there... I have put my heart left..
Ooohh..take her away from there.. She has to be with me now...


I've broke my own promises.. I've broke my own decision to accompany you..
Is it the best choice that we took yesterday?

The only thing left is you...
Where would we be now?




-ego-


*6daysbefore#ugo

Thursday, July 12, 2012

11-13/07/12

Feel so strange with this kind of feeling..
When your soul can't be run as well..
In this crowded place...
What it is?

I hope you are doing well there..
even you are not...

Too much worried?
I am...
But how to hold those?

It always goes to you...

Dear you...

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

#1

How we continue our life when we are not together?
How if..
How if..
We can't imagine that time!
I hope the universe will be worked for us..
I hope..
I hope..
And we pray..for us..

#kamu




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Friday, May 18, 2012

Biibooo...

"Hei kamu"...

"Kamu kenapa disitu??"
"Kita ga bakalan asyik loh... kita bakalan ga sama lagi..."
"eh.."
"Tapi mata kamu bilang lain dari yang kamu ucapkan loh"
"Kenapa sih musti kita coba, kalo dah tau endingnya?"

"Aaahh.. kamu..
"Kenapa ga dari dulu aja ya?"
"Kenapa kita sibuk mencari bintang di atas sana, padahal di depan kita ada bulan, dan kita tak pernah menyadari kehadirannya!"
"And.. everything is always goes on you..."

"Berapa tahun kita?"
"Ga perlu pake adaptasi, ga pake jaim lagi, aku tau kamu, kamu tau aku.."

"Another coincidence beb?"
"ahaha... universe works.."

"Eh...kamu kenapa senyum-senyum terus?"
"Bahagia... - Grateful to have you here :) "


*potongan cerita kita... biiibooooo.....

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Palsu

Kamu tak pernah berarti untukku.
Dari dulu, sekarang dan sampai kapanpun.
Kehadiranmu hanyalah sebuah bayang kelam yang tak berwujud.
Dan bila kehadiranmu selama ini telah merenggut salah satu orang yang kusayangi, pergi dan memilihmu. Itupun tak mengikhlaskanku.

Kamu tak pernah tahu..
Bahwa aku pernah membelamu mati-matian.. Untuk menjadikanmu yang terakhir bagi dirinya.
Kamu tak pernah tahu..

Apabila kini pembelaanku bertolak menjadi penolakanku, salahkah aku?
Kamu yang menciptakan penyesalan ini terjadi.
Tahun-tahun yang terlewati ternyata menyadarkanku, bahwa kamu memang bukan yang terbaik untuk mendampinginya.
Kamu merenggut kebahagianku.
Kamu merenggut jiwaku.
Kamu membuat semestaku menangis karena sikapmu.
Dan kamu telah menorehkan luka terhadapku.
Kamu telah membuatnya memilihmu dan bukan mendengarkanku.
Kamu membuat batas hitam dalam kasihku terhadapnya.

Palsu kalau kau mengatakan bahwa dirimu mengerti dirinya.
Palsu kalau kau mengatakan kau mencintainya.
Kamu hanya saja tak dapat menemukan sosoknya dalam laki-laki lain.

Kata-kata yang kau lontarkan malam tadi, kuyakin telah menusuk semestaku.
Membuatnya menangis..
Dan ku tahu, bahwa itu adalah tangisan sebuah penyesalan dan kekecewaan.

Aku tahu.. Aku tahu..
Kamu masih menyimpan dendammu terhadapku.
Aku tahu.. Aku tahu..


Tujuhbelasapril


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