Am I belong here?

People said you can share all on your mind "here"..
It is said that "here" is the coziest place in the world..
It is said that I'm belong "here"..
It's been almost 30 years..
And for the first time...
I'm not belong "here"..

I miss the story telling..
I miss the sharing..
I miss those smile..
I miss those laugh..
Actually, I miss the old you..
I realized that everything is not the same..
You left me, even you are still "here"..

I took so many excuse to go..
Just for not seeing your face..
Avoiding the awkward moments..
Avoiding the silence..
Avoiding any disputation..

I wish I have another place to be my comfort zone..
I wish I can stay there any longer..
I wish I don't need another cold beers to make me fall asleep..
I wish I can let those go out easily..

Still another 5 months to go..

I'm not belong "here"!!!